Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.

-David Grayson

I’m sitting all alone in my room and I was thinking of things-decisions actually. And then it hit me!

I want to tell the world how we met and became friends.. And maybe it would sound like an indirect confession… he might soon know..

Would it make me lesser of an idiot? Maybe.

So here it goes..

Hindi ko na masyado matandaan kung paano ko siya unang nakilala. Ang natatandaan ko lang nung mga panahong nasa 3^{rd year highschool ako ay kung paano siya kumilos at makihalubilo sa mga kaklase niya.}

Hindi siya palangiti. Hindi din siya palausap nung mga panahong yun. Kaya inisip ko, "SUPLADO!".

Oo, suplado at masungit ang unang tingin ko sa kanya. At un din ang description ng ibang kaklase ko tungkol sa kanya.

Pero ang higit sa lahat natatandaan ko pa na sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko na imposibleng maging kaibigan ko siya. MASUNGIT AT SUPLADO. Haha.. Talk about FIRST IMPRESSIONS. Haha..

Pero lumipas ang ilang buwan, naging malapit ako sa kanya..at unti unting naging..kaibigan. At habang tumatagal nakikilala ko ang kahit papano’y parte ng pagkatao niya.

Hindi pala siya SUPLADO. SOBRANG SUPLADO Lang. Joke. Oo suplado nga siya..at hindi mahilig makipagusap .

Pero mali ako. Madaldal pala siya. Makulit. Haha.. Maarte.. Malandi.. Parang babae.. haha..pero Mabait din siya..sobra..yan ang 5 na M ng personality niya. Pero SUPLADO talaga siya. Suplado sa mga hindi kilala o mga kakikilala pa lang. Ganun siya. Tahimik at reserved. Haha. Mahilig din siyang magbasketball. And he is good at it. That is how we became friends. We share the same interests. He likes basketball and I like basketball too at that time. Dahil na din sa intrams kaya ko siya naging kaibigan. Nagsimula ko siyang makausap ng madalas dahil I "manage daw" our class basketball team that time. That’s it. We talk about a lot of things.. Pero at that time.. I don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. I see him as one of my friends in school. And I thought I would never have feelings for him..

Again, I was so wrong.. When we entered college.. Sometime we talk over the phone, exchange text messages. We stayed friends even though we cant see each other.

We became close friends. I trust him and confide things to him. And I know he also trust me because he shared some of his problems with me.. We became the typical friends.. Because I I fell in love with someone during my 2nd year in college..

And then we don’t talk too much on the phone and text messages until my 4th year. I change my cellphone network for him. I just want to be in touched with him somehow.

But as time passed, I realized that the more he opens his heart to me, the more vulnerable my heart becomes.. And I started to feel something.. what we all call FEAR.. I was afraid that I might fall in love with him.

Natatakot akong mahalin siya dahil ayokong matulad ang pagkakaibigan namen sa pagkakaibigan sinayang ko 2 taon na ang nakakaraan. Natatakot akong mahalin siya dahil baka isang araw magising na naman ako..at pagkagising ko nawalan na naman ako ng isang mahalagang kaibigan.

I tried to cast my feelings away. Hoping na it’s not what I think it was..

Kahit na bihira kaming magkita.. His messages..His voice.. that’s all I have..na unti unti na ring nawawala dahil may-gf na siya. He fell in love. But I was too late. I loved him to much that I don’t know how to stop.

I love everything about him. His different sides that I have seen.. his good side..his sweet side.his weak side. His bad side. I love all of it. I just don’t know why and how. But all I know is that when I waked up one morning.. He is the first person I think of..and the last person I think of at night..

Masyado akong nalulong sa pagiging maalalahaning kaibigan.. He always made me feel special.. Or is that what I thought it was?

Tuwing mag-uusap kme sa text.. tuwing mag-sasabi siya ng problema niya.. I always felt the same pain he felt whenever someone hurt him. I even cried for his problems. It’s not pity. I cried because thats what I felt that time. when he’s in pain…I felt like It’s so hard to breathe..

And when he’s happy I’m happy too.. Is that what we all call TRUE LOVE? I don’t know.. I was afraid to know the answer.. Siguro nga.. I’m just so damn stupid.. That I always forgot to draw borders..so that I could protect myself.. I am always so weak..emotionally.. I might appear strong..but..am I really strong? After making the same mistake twice? Hell, am I that stupid? Haha.. don’t answer. I already know.

Right now, he’s happy with the girl he loves. And I hope that it will last long. It doesn’t matter when it’s hard to breathe for me.. as long as he is happy.. I will try hard to breathe..

I planned to tell my feelings.. But it’s not the right time. I might ruin something precious to us both- our friendship.. And that’s the last thing I would like to happen..

Someday, I would tell him. When I got the very first chance, I would definitely tell him.

And if someday I fall in love with another person, I would still tell him that I loved him before that he has a special place in my heart. And I know someday I would fall in love again then he will be a part of my past.

But the truth is that.. my feelings for him is already a part of the past..

I may have said these words a couple of times.. but now I revealed his identity.. and told my feelings for him openly.. he might already know..

But for the very last time.. I am sincerely letting go my feelings for you. From now on, I would never talk about you as the person I love, but more of my friend who’s been there for me. Again, for the very last time.. Goodbye..AJFL..and I have LOVED you..

And I know.. For sure.. I already found an exit out of the emotional forest..

I just turned 20.Enough to be called a young adult and yet i haven’t got the courage to tell yu how i really feel.

I just dont know what to do. Torned between the fact that i should let you go or continue to love you like this. 

I am really stupid because until now i’m still the same old 18 year old girl who dont have the courage to confess.

Haha. I dont want your back ..all i want is to be by your side..when you’re lonely..when you’re happy..i want

to share everything with you. Even though it’s impossible. I want to be a part of your life. Not as your friend but as a woman who loves you for everything you are.

Maybe, one day i have to let you go. And when i’m ready.. i will be able to love again. Maybe all i need is someone who will love me..for everything i am.

I only have one wish for my birthday..

I want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. And i’m praying that i one day  i will find that person.

Minsan pinapili ako kung gusto ko bang maging si "Midori" sa buhay mo
sa loob ng 3 buwan.
Magiging bahagi ako ng katawan mo, magiging kanang kamay mo sa loob ng katawan.

Pero my kaylangang kapalit iyon. Isang mahalagang bagay saken na kaya kong ibigay na may kinalaman sayo.
"Kailangan kong isuko ang alaala mo tungkol saken, at lahat ng mga alaala mo na ksama ako."
Ang sagot ko?
"Okay lang para naman sa kahit konting panahon eh magksama tayo.
Kung yun lang ang paraan para mapadama ko kung gaano kita kamahal.
Alam mo kung bakit? Kasi kahit makalimutan mo ako ayos lang,
ang mahalaga naalala kita, dahil kung isang araw eh magkikita tayo ulit,
maipapaalala ko sayo kung gaano kita kamahal at siguro balang araw
maalala mo din ako, dahil alam ko kahit minsan nagkaroon din ako ng lugar dyan.
Sapat na ang pagmamahal na ibibigay ko para maalala mo ulit ako at
pwedeng mapalitan ang mga alaala na yun, ng parehas na alaala na nawala sayo."

-magulo pero maganda diba?

Full moon sways…
Gently in the night of one fine day.
On my way…
Looking for a moment with my dear.
Full moon waves.
Slowly on the surface of the lake.
You were there…
Smilling in my arms for all those years.
What a fool…
I don’t know ’bout tomorrow…
What it’s like to be.

I was sure,
Couldn’t let myself to go.
Even though i feel…
The end.
Old love affair…
Floating like a bird resting her wings.
You were there…
Smiling in my arms for all those years.
What a fool…
I don’t know ’bout tomorrow…
What it’s like to be.

I was sure,
Couldn’t let myself to go.
Even though i feel…
The end.
Full moon sways…
Gently in the night of one fine day.
You are there.
Smiling in my arms for all thoses years…

Rain… In the rain the day before, and the day before that

SLOW MOTION Suddenly love

Breaks in front of me

Alone, just alone; one person

Because I couldn’t protect

The battle continues for the sake of pride

NO TIME TO CRY Cry later

The rain of June still just vows

However the warm rain wets my cheek

SLOW MOTION Hot and refreshingly, I lead powerfully

"In memories" Why? It’s not a stupid thing.

Even though I don’t understand, now I must run

NO TIME TO CRY Just to become strong

The rain of June is life-threatening

NO TIME TO CRY Just to become strong

The rain of June is life-threatening

i’m trying to change my life and make it easier for me. But i guess it’s not easy to change. I’m not changing my life for someone else but i’m changing for myself. So don’t bother asking why i am so mess up. WELL I’M NOT! I’m just tired. Thats all. 

I’m tired of being the "girl" those people want me to be. This is me. Just accept it.

I got 3 things to say:

Acceptance.

Enjoy.

Be Radical.

Twenty Questions

Ni Juan Ekis

 

 

MGA TAUHAN

 

Jigs – Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabaho
bilang researcher sa isang financial firm

 

Yumi – Commercial Model. Kabarkada
ni Jigs. 2 years ahead kay Jigs.

 

 

TAGPO

 

Gabi. Sa
isang kwarto ng isang beach resort. Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa sahig habang
inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

 

 

YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man. Naaawa ako sa’yo
e. Tabi na tayo sa

kama

.

 

JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.

 

YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no. Malaki naman
itong

kama

e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.

 

JIGS Sure ka?

 

YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?

 

JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?

 

YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot na divider.

 

JIGS Good idea.

 

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati ang

kama

sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa. Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya: “Puppy
Love and other Stories” ni F. Sionil Jose. Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng
Japanese Zen Music habang nagsa-zazen.

 

YUMI Do you mind?

 

JIGS No, go ahead. I’m just reading.

 

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang di
maka-concentrate. Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

 

YUMI I can’t believe our friends.

 

JIGS Oo nga e.

 

YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ‘to sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada o kaya sa
bagong…ay oo nga pala. Bagong graduate ka. Congrats.

 

JIGS Thanks.

 

YUMI So what’re your plans?

 

JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng BPI sa OTP
nila.

 

YUMI Wow naman. In demand.

 

JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition anyway?

 

YUMI (Matatawa) You won’t believe it.

 

JIGS Ikaw?

 

YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.

 

JIGS So why did you start it?

 

YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa lang siguro

noon

. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang
namin si Ronald. E may crush siya kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng
barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ng tradition. Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan
ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kung sino ang mabubunot, silang dalawa ang
pagsasamahin sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we’ll all see
what happens. Pero dinaya namin

noon

yung kay Ronald at Meg. Puro
Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.

 

JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!

 

YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.

 

JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?

 

YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?

 

JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa’kin sa barkada e.

 

YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don’t see any reason
kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year, unless may crush ka
sa’kin na di ko alam at alam nila (tatawa).

 

JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).

 

YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.

 

JIGS I was here na the 2^nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang
biktima.

 

YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They’re getting married kailan? Sa
June yata.

 

JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at isang babae
sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng walang mangyari doon!

 

YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)

 

JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?

 

YUMI Ano’ng disgrasya?

 

JIGS Alam mo na ‘yun!

 

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider
nilang kumot.

 

YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa’no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka naman. Di mo
masabi.

 

JIGS Ang alin?

 

YUMI Ang sex!

 

JIGS Hah!

 

YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?

 

JIGS 

Para

kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.

 

YUMI Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!

 

JIGS Excuse me?

 

YUMI Sabihin mo nga: “Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!”

 

JIGS 

Para

kang bata, Yumi ha.

 

YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were in third year.

 

JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.

 

Tahimik.

 

JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we’re gonna last three days.

 

YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa’kin?

 

Di sasagot si Jigs.

 

YUMI We’re gonna survive this one.

 

JIGS What makes you so sure?

 

YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive pero I’ve no
time for this. Alam mo naman siguro na kaka—

 

JIGS Same here.

 

YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don’t have time
for this? (Matatawa)

 

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CD player
at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng
ganang magbasa. Pupunta siya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

 

JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.

 

YUMI May chips ba diyan?

 

JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

 

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player.
Tatayo siya at kukuha ng chips sa ibabaw ng ref.

 

YUMI Since we’re gonna be stuck naman with each other for three days,
might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.

 

JIGS What do you mean?

 

YUMI Get the wine, let’s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang and we’re
gonna be the first failure of this tradition.

 

JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.) When
they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo na sina Rod and Kay. Kung
baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin sa isa’t isa. Pero us…

 

YUMI Weird ng barkada natin no?

 

JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!

 

YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!

 

Magto-toast sila at iinom.

 

JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let’s make our stay here more interesting…

 

YUMI What’s with the ate?

 

JIGS Fine…

 

Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo
sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.

 

JIGS Let’s play twenty questions.

 

YUMI Sige! Ano yon?

 

JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita,
tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa’t isa. Alternate tayo. Pero
the thing here is, you can’t ask the question that I already asked.

 

YUMI That’s pretty interesting.

 

JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.

 

YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in the
room. Ok?

 

JIGS Of course. You wanna start?

 

YUMI No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si
Jigs)

 

JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo
sa buhay?

 

YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge-challenge.
Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.

 

JIGS Simula pa lang e.

 

YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba…?

 

JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?

 

YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako…I’m a frustrated ballet dancer.

 

JIGS Talaga?

 

YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi akong
disiplina e. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero I really enjoy
watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance parati kong naiisip na

sana

, ako rin. There! Ang dali naman
ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.

 

JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa’kin mamaya.

 

YUMI We’ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your
sexuality? I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?

 

JIGS Never.

 

YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.

 

JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.

 

YUMI Homophobe ka ba?

 

JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?

 

YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?

 

JIGS I’m straight, okay?

 

YUMI I’m not asking if you’re gay or not. I’m asking kung…

 

JIGS Never nga.

 

YUMI We all thought na you were gay. Well at least nung first few
months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.

 

JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!

 

YUMI E pa’no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi mo, pero parang
allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging gentleman mo. Too good to be true.
You have a good body, it seems that you work out pero iniisip namin front mo
lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging maganda ng katawan
nila at pagiging sporty…

 

Tatawa lang si Jigs.

 

YUMI So we thought it’s either that or you were planning to become a
priest.

 

JIGS What?!

 

YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa
chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba…

 

JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.

 

YUMI Of course not. I didn’t mean that!

 

JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn’t make me gay!

 

YUMI So you did want to become a priest…

 

JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family…and be a
father.

 

Tahimik.

 

YUMI So you’re not gay.

 

JIGS No.

 

YUMI You never…

 

JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It’s my turn.

 

YUMI Homophobe ka no?

 

JIGS Hindi kaya!

 

YUMI Whatever…

 

JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.

 

YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.

 

JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?

 

YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.

 

JIGS The object of this game is not to win.

 

YUMI E ano pa ba?

 

JIGS To get to know the other person.

 

YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill ang isang
game kung walang nananalo.

 

JIGS Sagot.

 

YUMI May time limit ba ‘to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.

 

JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

 

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

 

YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom) To answer your
question, either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimula ako ng sarili kong
botique or bar, o kaya, magiging artista ako sa pelikula.

 

JIGS Not bad.

 

YUMI Pero mukhang

malabo

yung stint ko sa movies. Tough
ang competition e. Saka mahina ang manager ko.

Panay

hosting at pictorials ang
nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka
magtayo na lang ako ng botique.

 

JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?

 

YUMI Yuck!

 

JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.

 

YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!

 

JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib! (Tatawa)

 

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga! Akala ko
goody-goody ka…Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit ano’ng mangyari no!
Kahit ganito ako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.

 

JIGS Ganito? Ano’ng ganito?

 

Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.

 

YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex, sex, sex! Kaya
puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!

 

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?

 

YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako na’ng magtatanong.
Ang korni mo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nang konti…Inom ka muna.

 

Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng
bago.

 

YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?

 

Tahimik.

 

YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

 

Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng
bago.

 

JIGS Lalaki o babae?

 

Tatawa sila pareho.

 

YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.

 

Tahimik.

 

JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.

 

YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e.

Para

may thrill. As if naman ibo-broadcast ko sa
barkada kung sino.

 

JIGS Wine pa?

 

YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

 

Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay
Yumi.

 

JIGS Yung crush ko kasi…siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung
pinakamaganda sa barkada.

 

YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no!

Para

sa’kin ang pinakagwapo si Joel. Sa babae, si Kay.

Para

kay Ronald, si Meg…

 

JIGS Yung literally na may dating—walang tanung-tanong. Yung kahit
sino’ng tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.

 

YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing game. C’mon
man. Play your own game. Pa’no na kung truth or dare to e di pahirapan na.
Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.

 

JIGS Yung commercial model.

 

Matitigilan si Yumi.

 

YUMI Wine pa nga.

 

Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si
Yumi. Iinom. Biglang matatawa.

 

YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?

 

JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?

 

YUMI You can say it to my face, I won’t bite. Bakit hirap na hirap kang
sabihin kung sino? Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lang e…Wine pa nga!

 

JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na…

 

YUMI (Ngiti) Gee…thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan naman
nangyari ito?

 

JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush in the
barkada…NOW?

 

YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.

 

JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang tanong mo,
first crush ko.

 

YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ‘to, tambak ka na.

 

JIGS Just answer the question.

 

YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don’t have time for these stuff.
Kakabreak ko lang di ba?

 

JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.

 

YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang kailangan kong
sumagot…hmmm…teka…sino nga ba? Sino ba’ng crush material sa barkada? Wala
akong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.

 

JIGS Yung seryoso naman.

 

YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang…

 

JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.

 

YUMI Uy! Pa’no ba’yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush kita…yiheee
(Tatawa).

 

JIGS Dati pa ‘yon no!

 

YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano namang ginawa
ko? Tsk. Tsk.

 

JIGS Is that your question na?

 

YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman…di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

 

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

 

YUMI Fine. Here’s a little juicy question: Describe your first kiss.

 

JIGS That’s not even a question.

 

YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

 

Matatawa si Jigs.

 

JIGS Wet.

 

YUMI Yuck!

 

Magtatawanan sila.

 

JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi kami nung isa
kong kaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa
noo. E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sa sahig. Tinatamad
siyang tumayo. So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na
ako. E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto, sa lips ko siya
nahalikan. Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga
ang feeling e. Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho…

 

Tawa pa rin si Yumi

 

YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si Krissy ba ‘to?

 

JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.

 

YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?

 

JIGS Nope.

 

YUMI Ha?

 

JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin e. May
boyfriend siya

noon

. Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Pero at
least, na-discover namin na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa’t isa. Pero
hanggang doon na lang.

 

YUMI What happened after?

 

JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work. Tapos, bigla
na lang, hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, iba na ang barkada
ko.

 

YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.

 

JIGS Ikaw, pa’no yung first kiss mo?

 

YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit ba lagi mong
bini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ‘yan!

 

JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ng wine) Okay,
naka-warm-up na ako: What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?

 

YUMI ‘Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba’ng ibig mong sabihin ng naughty?

 

JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.

 

YUMI Hmmm…marami e…(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.

 

JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo exciting naman…

 

YUMI Eto na…I had two boyfriends at the same time.

 

JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.

 

YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.

 

JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?

 

YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako (matatawa).

 

JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo’t ginawa mo ‘yon, aber?

 

YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko sila pareho e. Ano’ng
magagawa ko? Saka para may thrill. Alam mo ‘yon? Yung patago kang
nakikipag-date sa isa para di mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi,
alternate sila! (Tatawa) Akala n’yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa
no’n?

 

JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?

 

YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman ang love dun. I
was…having fun!

 

JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?

 

YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It’s my turn.

 

JIGS Don’t you want to answer the question anyway?

 

YUMI My turn!

 

JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

 

Ubos na ang unang wine bottle.
Kukuha si Jigs ng isa pa sa ref.

 

JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.

 

YUMI Are you still a virgin?

 

JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?

 

YUMI That’s my fourth question.

 

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

 

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang
siya ni Yumi.

 

YUMI Don’t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni Krissy hanggang
ngayon? Ilang taon na ba kayo?

 

JIGS Mag-tu-two years na

sana

next week.

 

YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don’t believe it!

 

JIGS Mukha ba akong tarantado?

 

YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.

 

JIGS Insulto ba ‘yon?

 

YUMI Compliment ‘yon, tanga.

 

JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.

 

YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?

 

JIGS Alin? Sex?

 

YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!

 

JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ‘yon sa tao no? Nasa iyo
na lang ‘yan kung ano’ng gagawin mo sa urge na ‘yon.

 

YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean, pag naiihi
ka, iihi ka. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ‘yon, di ba?

 

JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi. At hindi ka
iihi kahit saan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil
kailangan. At hindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo. Pag di ka
gutom, di ka kakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin. Ang aso,
pag may nakitang pagkain diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ‘yan.

 

YUMI And sex is the same?

 

JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At least, yun
ang nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.

 

YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita.

Para

mo na ring sinabing lahat ng
nakikipagsex, aso ah!

 

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto,

mali

.

 

YUMI And what is that context?

 

JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na natin ‘yan.

 

Tahimik.

 

JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin ginagawa.

 

Tahimik.

 

JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba’ng ayaw nun?

 

Tahimik.

 

YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat kang
i-congratulate for being a virgin!

 

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain ko lang kung
bakit di ko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit
kanino ang mga paniniwala ko…No need to get so cross about it, Yumi.

 

Tahimik.

 

JIGS It’s not about being a virgin or not. It’s about putting things
into their proper places.

 

YUMI I’m not arguing with you.

 

JIGS Me neither. I’m just answering your questions.

 

Matagal na katahimikan.

 

Ngingiti si Jigs. Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita
sa nakaraang train of conversation nila. Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.

 

JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) You still wanna go on
with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)

 

YUMI Shoot me.

 

JIGS Who was your first lay?

 

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos mo talaga! So inaassume mo
na hindi na ako virgin?

 

JIGS E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang nananalo e. So
I guess I’m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a! I’m just hitting
two birds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang ang sagot:
wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?

 

YUMI Ang daya mo.

 

JIGS Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.

 

YUMI You think I’ll answer that after giving your sermon, Father Jigs?

 

JIGS Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko. Kung ano
man ang sa iyo, I’ll respect them as well as I know you respect mine. I’m no
saint. I’m just trying to get to know you better. (Ngingiti)

 

YUMI How do you do that?

 

JIGS Alin?

 

YUMI I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way you say
things…parang bumabaliktad sa’yo…makes you more…charming. Kung ibang tao
ka siguro, di na kita kakausapin.

 

JIGS You can’t walk out. We’re locked here for three days except for
meals.

 

YUMI So I’m forced to like you para di masira ang vacation ko.
(Ngingiti)

 

JIGS You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want.

 

YUMI I guess I’ll be honest with you as you were honest with me…

 

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

 

YUMI Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my first boyfriend.
It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo na…typical senior prom story. Everyone
wants to lose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it was
something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made out sa kotse niya.
One thing led to the other. Tapos, yun…yun na. We went back just in time for
the awarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa. (Mahinang tawa)

 

JIGS What was it like?

 

YUMI Now that I look back, it isn’t as special as I thought it was.
Pero it was different then. Back then, we were just led by our passions. Alam
mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals are confused.
Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon. Akala mo
you are in-love at lahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect.
Everything was magical…well, almost.

 

JIGS Almost…?

 

YUMI Sa next question mo na ‘yan. Ako na.

 

JIGS (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.

 

YUMI Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa’kin no? (Tatawa)

 

JIGS Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)

 

YUMI Engot. Hindi ‘yon. Here’s something na curious lang ako. Kasi I’ve
been hearing things…saka you’ve hinted on it na rin kanina…Are you still
with Krissy?

 

JIGS Hindi na.

 

YUMI Since when?

 

JIGS Two, maybe three weeks ago?

 

YUMI Sino’ng nakipag-break